


Dovewing's Demise

by Pokeeeeeeee



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 07:43:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9646811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pokeeeeeeee/pseuds/Pokeeeeeeee
Summary: Bumblestripe has finally had enough of Dovewing's endless whining and complaining, but things don't go as planned. He forms a team to try and bring about her demise.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic several years ago and I have literally no idea what I was thinking :') Thanks to my friend who ept nagging me ages ago to write this.

Bumblestripe sat down next to Dovewing, chewing his fresh-kill. The annoying she-cat was whining on and on in a high-pitched voice that she was useless without her powers.

_DOVEWING, JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE SPECIAL SENSES ANYMORE DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU AREN'T CAPABLE OF DOING THINGS! YOU STILL HAVE GOOD SENSES; YOU ARE NOT BLIND OR DEAF!_ Bumblestripe gritted his teeth.

He had dealt with the annoying she-cat for six moons after the battle, and nothing had changed. Every single StarClan-forsaken day was the same as the one before it. Dovewing kept on bawling her StarClan-blessed eyes out about every which thing.

But this time was different. Bumblestripe leaped up to his paws and roared as loud as he could. "That is IT! I can NOT put up with you anymore for StarClan knows how many moons to come!"

Dovewing instantly stopped whining and looked curiously at him, like she was doubting that someone could ever turn their back on her.

The striped gray tabby nodded, smirking. "This means- this means we are not mates!" he yowled. Dovewing was just staring at him until he turned his back and walked away.

_Well, I finally got_ that _over with!_ Bumblestripe sighed with relief. _Hello Dovewing-free days!_ He realized he had left his squirrel, and wearily retraced his steps to where he had been sitting before. The squirrel was there, just as he left it.

Sitting down again, he took another bite. Today would be the first of very happy days for Bumblestripe. Or so he thought.

* * *

Tigerheart paced impatiently. Dovewing had decided that they should meet up again at their abandoned twoleg den. He had no idea why she wanted to, but he decided to go anyways. He hadn't talked to Dovewing in ages.

The ground was still moist from the flood they had had less than a moon ago, and Tigerheart squished it up with his paws nervously. _Where is Dovewing? She always gets here before me!_

Finally, after what felt like a moon, Dovewing arrived. "Hey," Tigerheart croaked out. She was even more beautiful than he had remembered.

Dovewing crawled up to where he was sitting on the top of the den. He gazed into her eyes, wanting to soak in every detail. He opened his jaws to speak, but his moment was ruined as Dovewing started talking.

"So you know how I had these powers? And now I lost them and I can't see or hear anything and it's so horrible I'm useless I'm a nobody I can't do anything and it's just so unfair I should still have my powers I'm special..." Dovewing droned on and on until Tigerheart had to tune her out to focus on his own thoughts.

_She's not like she was before,_ Tigerheart thought to himself. _Or maybe she was like this all the time, and I was blinded._

Tigerheart made up his mind. "Dovewing, I can't be with you. You're a whiny she-cat, and you're off-limits. You have no redeeming qualities. Goodbye forever."

The gray she-cat didn't appear to hear him, so he leaped down and walked away.

_Well, there's always Pinenose. Actually, scratch that. I want revenge._

* * *

The next day, it turned out that Bumblestripe was wrong. Dovewing padded up to him as usual, and without waiting for him to object, sat down, complaining to him about her life.

Bumblestripe squished the ground with his front claws, twitching violently. Oblivious, Dovewing kept going with her rant.

Finally, he had had enough. _WE ARE NOT MATES ANYMORE; HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!_ Digging in his claws further, he clawed out a huge clump of grass, roared briefly with anger, and stalked away angrily.

_Screw being peaceful. I want revenge._

* * *

That night was the full moon. A gathering. Tigerheart padded across the tree-bridge unevenly, wobbling like usual. He plopped down his feet on the other side and exhaled a sigh of relief. Ever since his brother Flametail had fallen into the lake and died, he had been a bit nervous crossing the tree-bridge.

The clans immediately started sharing tongues, gossiping about everything to the moon and back. Tigerheart got up reluctantly, and looked for a few of the nicer cats in ThunderClan.

Immediately, he noticed Bumblestripe, looking furious. _Hm, that's weird. He's usually with Dovewing._ He decided to investigate the matter.

"Hey," he mewed quietly. "What's up?" Bumblestripe looked at him fire in his eyes. Tigerheart started inching away slowly.

"Dovewing," Bumblestripe growled. "She's been driving me mad. I broke up with her, but then she kept on complaining to me on and on and ON!" The gray tabby relaxed for a moment. "Wait a second, aren't you the ShadowClan cat that Dovewing was in love with?"

Tigerheart held back a growl. "Not anymore. She's not the cat I thought she was, that whiny piece of fox dung! Hm, didn't you say that you hated Dovewing?"

Bumblestripe nodded slowly. "What are you thinking of?" Realization began to dawn on Bumblestripe's face. "Do you mean-?"

Tigerheart grinned. "Yes. Meet me at the abandoned twoleg den just inside the ShadowClan border tomorrow night. We'll get revenge."

* * *

The next day, Bumblestripe walked out of the warriors den sleepily. He starting walking over to Squirrelflight to request being on the dawn hunting patrol, only to have his way blocked by Dovewing, who once again started up her complaints.

Bumblestripe sighed, knowing that today was going to be a long day. He might as well put up with Dovewing for a little bit.

To his surprise, though, Berrynose sauntered up to Dovewing, complaining that she was making herself look like the best, and only he was the best. Dovewing looked enraptured and misty-eyed.

The striped tom snorted. They were perfect for each other- both boasty and whiny. Although neither one would admit to that.

Nearby, Poppyfrost was watching in anger, almost hyperventilating at the sight of Berrynose flirting with Dovewing. Bumblestripe got closer and saw that she was trembling in anger.

Quietly, he mewed in her ear. "Do you want revenge too?"

* * *

Bumblestripe checked quickly that no one was in the dirtplace, then beckoned for Poppyfrost to follow him. "The coast is clear," he whispered.

The duo set off to the border, making sure to be as quiet as a mouse. The trees whistled and the leaves fluttered in the warm, gentle breeze.

Tigerheart was waiting there for them as promised. Bumblestripe looked around the exterior of the den, amazed by what he saw. "Woah. How did you find this place?"

The ShadowClan cat shrugged modestly. "Flametail and I were exploring one day, and we just discovered it. Wait, what's _she_ doing here?" Tigerheart added on, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"Oh, Dovewing started up a thing with Berrynose, and Poppyfrost wants revenge on Dovewing as well."

Tigerheart chuckled. "Poor Berrynose. Anyway, let's get to business."

Bumblestripe started first. "So, how are we going to get revenge sufficiently?" he questioned. "Not just any plan will do for Dovewing." Tigerheart thought about it.

"Well, I hadn't really thought about that yet..." Tigerheart trailed off uneasily, shifting his paws.

The trio thought in silence until Poppyfrost piped up. "I've got the beginnings of an idea," the tortie said, grinning shyly. "Twolegs are very strange beings, and they keep very strange items in their dens. We're next to one of their dens."

The two toms were confused, but then realization dawned on them. "We're gonna use twoleg methods of revenge on Dovewing."

* * *

The trio prodded through all the strange items in the den. The weird top was blocking out almost all sources of light, making it hard to see.

Bumblestripe sifted through a white pointy rectangle thing that opened. Inside were all these bright neon objects, with twoleg scratches on them. His eye caught a glimpse of a brown shiny covering on something.

"Hey guys, come look at this!" he called over to his partners, holding it up. Poppyfrost squinted at the brown object and lit up with surprise.

"That's chocolate, I think," she said slowly. "Chocolate is very harmful to a cat. Maybe we could feed it to Dovewing."

Tigerheart and Bumblestripe nodded, and Tigerheart held up a bundle of red tubes with string at the end. "These are fireworks, I believe. You use a match to start a fire on the string, and it makes a pretty explosion in the sky."

An owl hooted nearby, soaring through the empty forest.

"Perfect," Bumblestripe nodded. "Tomorrow night, we'll take action."

* * *

The wind whistled a melody through the trees, arousing Bumblestripe from his light slumber. Nearby, Poppyfrost stirred as well. Bumblestripe lightly lifted up his paws and strolled forward carefully, barely touching the ground.

Bumblestripe nodded at her, and turned towards the camp entrance, beckoning her to come with him. She sat up and trailed behind him like his own shadow, silent and swift.

The ground squelched ever-so-softly at the touch of their paws, cooling them down. Poppyfrost flinched slightly and trod through the mud more cautiously.

Finally, they made it to the ShadowClan border, pads scratched up. Tigerheart was waiting at the abandoned twoleg den like promised. They all shared a quiet, serious look.

Bumblestripe finally broke the silence. "Well, let's get started. First of all, how are we gonna get Dovewing over here?"

Tigerheart shuffled his paws, with a tiny side smile. "Well, I might have told her two nights ago to meet me here today. She should be coming any minute now."

Bumblestripe grinned. "Thanks Tigerheart. But StarClan help us if she survives."

Poppyfrost was standing silently to the side. Quietly, she put on her game face, almost as if she had noticed the gray creature scurrying around the bushes. "The game is on."

At once, the two toms got the signal and pounced on the rustling shrubbery. Ahold, there was Dovewing! Tigerheart reached out a paw and pinned her down, growling violently.

Bumblestripe picked up the so-called chocolate, slicing the tough material in half with his claws. Slowly shaking, he handed a section to Poppyfrost.

Gleefully, the tortoiseshell waited until Dovewing whined again. Instantly, she shoved her paw with chocolate into Dovewing's mouth and down her throat, forcing her to swallow.

Immediately, Dovewing tensed up and starting spazzing out, eyes wide. Tigerheart, Bumblestripe, and Poppyfrost laughed uproariously at the pain she was in, which was just as much as their pain.

But they couldn't stand there forever. The show must move onto the final act, the one with all the jazz and the razmatazz. Aka the fireworks.

Tigerheart picked up the fireworks in his mouth, and slowly but surely tied the rope around the spazzing she-cat.

The trio shared a glance. This was it. The moment they had all been waiting for. Bumblestripe took the match in his jaws and scraped it against the ground.

A spark ignited, causing everyone to jump away frightfully. Approaching it again, Bumblestripe nudged it across the forest floor towards the end of the rope.

Getting closer. The tension in the air was palpable. 3... 2... 1...

The match contacted the string, and the flame roared rapidly across it to the red cylinders.

KABOOM!

Dovewing and the tubes soared up into the sky, both screaming. The she-cat was ripped apart, and blown everywhere as pretty pink sparks flew into arrangements.

Down below, the trio high-fived each other at their victory. Dovewing could never bother them again!

* * *

High up in the air above the ThunderClan camp, there was an explosion noise.

All over the globe, cats stared at the sky, at the amazing display.

For, in the air was a glittery pink cursive phrase, made from fireworks:

"Dovewing's Demise."


End file.
